on a darkling plain.

i am the child of the wasteland....a land of haunted houses and monsters i call father. dark talents run in the family, but i shatter the glass to let the moonlight in, not to destroy something fragile for the feeling of breaking beneath my fists. all i can do is scream, crawl out, and keep screaming. but i can hold the sparrow, mend its wing... i am the spring rain and the hurricane... the monsters cower now, not me, not you. *xn*

Tuesday, Jul. 15, 2003 - 3:26 am

This might make sense.... I think I am coherent LOL

Hey thanks so much for the cool emails and to Leslie Irene for staying in touch most of all. I have been/am SICK and pathetically so... I can only laugh now because I am feeling better somewhat but I am still stumbling around.

To put it simply I am battling a lung infection and it spread to my throat and ears and caused a punctured ear drum in my right ear...! Yes fun.. fun.. and more fun.

The problem has hung on for a long time, problems started to surface in December, lingered on and off, seemed to clear, then got suddenly worse, and have made me miserable.. on a funny-esque note, I don't like to complain (I guess its why I never posted durng the worst, I hate hearing or reading myself bitch about my colds flus etc but others feel free, I care, I really do, its just me I don't like :) ) um okay back to "funny", I decided because of my non-communication with some others on email I decided I'd complain and say what was going wrong with me currently when another gal wrote in saying she was suffering a cold that turned into a lung and ear infection LOL Not that she was sick but because... yeah right I am going to now say I have the same thing and I have had it much LONGER than you thank you- sounded stupid to me to mention it then. Like a sickie-poo competiton. So these people over here still don't know a thing.. funny-esque huh?

So its really screwing me over so I just have to get through it. I was also dizzy ( and the punctured ear drum when it first happened didn't actually give me vertigo back then, but then after awhile the damn thing kicked in....) So I fell in the street like a dork. FELL Right in front of a corner where a lady was writing/sketching. While I was stumbling back onto the corner she was looking up with a weird expression- so somewhere a story or picture might have a dorkette pitching sideways into the street and kinda laying there for a moment having a laugh over the illness now this falling twisting thing.. that kind of laugh.

So I had the fun of watching my ankle get fat, sore and swollen and several days later I hobble out of the apt bldg only to dizz-out and twist it again. now THAT was also fun. And then twice banging it on a chair and a small suitcase. I only have the appearence of my left ankle to remember my right ankle by. *sigh* its still too big to be called my ankle.

The 'good' that has come of this is that while recouping I have been doing work on a graphic novel, a fractured kind of fairytale that I have told no one about but is so close to being done. I haven't even told anyone in general about but Rick and the thing is so cool even I am impressed- not in that ego way but in that "where the hell did this come from" way. It really did just hit me like a bolt of lightning. Now you think of my sickness stuff and say "see it was meant to be" well stuff like that does not apply to me but we'll see. I am never the blue bird of happiness hope whatever he is- but I am Blue :) So when something does not work I'm like "oh you again" and when it does I am grounded like "don't even bother to come out of the woodwork because I know who was here during the ups and downs so don't even pick up the phone.." you get the gist... I am ready for anything- but damn this would be fun. sooooooo

As much as I'd love to add cute pix of swollen and infected things and links to sites with gory pustule filled info on infections I am too damned tired right now and I want to eat a bowl of cheerios... just for the "cheeri" aspect.. the "o" thing can come along too. with Silk soy milk. (cue ad music..ta da dad ata) They make a rockin' chocolate soy milk so they should make a nice regular one. Okay so I lied- here is a link * soy milk and chocolate happiness for ALL I say. * No infection pix, just soy milk.

Now back to suffering in silence. I love my diarythingamajig here but I have a tendency to just "shut down" when I don't feel like saying anything other than ouch.

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