i am the child of the wasteland....a land of haunted houses and monsters i call father. dark talents run in the family, but i shatter the glass to let the moonlight in, not to destroy something fragile for the feeling of breaking beneath my fists. all i can do is scream, crawl out, and keep screaming. but i can hold the sparrow, mend its wing... i am the spring rain and the hurricane... the monsters cower now, not me, not you. *xn*

Wednesday, Feb. 26, 2003 - 8:16 pm

someone mused.. "if ozzy had to move to an east village apartment but still kept all the cool stuff from his mansion, this is what it would look like.." okay.. we are a little packed here but its fun, toys climb the walls :) i am still working on getting a small chandelier for the kitchen, something sunset colored... apparently as a little girl i had a thing for chandeliers, and living near potomac for a little while where one of my older older cousins was in the secret service you end up at a lot of places with chandeliers and i always knew how to lower them if they had an auto switch and play with the crystals. i actually only remember one of these incidents, the lady was like "well child grab a duster and help me clean it now you got it down" so we did, but i am told there were several times i lowered people's large shiny light fixtures. such strange things we do as kids, that was actually the most tame.

i also used to just walk into people's houses if the door was open (sometimes not). this habit came back one night in high school when i lived in idaho- a state where people still leave their doors unlocked. i was out walking one nice night down by the lake when a guy on a bicycle tried to attack me. it was dark and i thought i recognized him as the guy who the previous summer had also tried to jump me in the woods.

that time i scared him off with my voice, i sing, i roar, i can probably scare rob zombie- and that day i got a taste of what i would be capable of later- i roared and swore at the guy when the second before i had been quiet and sweet sounding (stupid stupid girl "training"- be nice be polite- this guy is trying to grab my hand and put it on his crotch and i'm saying "ah no, i don't want to thanks" ??) but thankfully my own spirit overcame my "girlness" and he ran when that monster roar exploded- oh and the swearing i saved for special occasions came out in full force.

but maybe this night he recognized me too because he wasn't going slow about it- he was coming at me and laughing. i told him i lived "right there" and he better not touch me. i didn't live "right there" maybe he knew how far from home i was- but i turned and ran into the house. yes opened the door and went in. shocking the hell out of the two guys there on the couch. i thought oh great- more guys- but after a hasty explanation these two called the police and then went out and searched the neighborhood around. they found no one of course. one took me home in his car- by now i recognized one from school. along the way- and this was not my suggestion, but i also didn't stop him, he stopped at each gathering of locals and told them some psycho on a bike was trying to attack women. some of these gatherngs of people were punks, some were motocycle gang looking guys and some were the jocks- all the kinds of guys who when you knew them were actually nice but saw red when they thought there was a sex pervert out around huntng women. so i pity any man on a bike that night. i was scared, but later i ddn't hear of any poor guy on a bike being wrongfuly attacked. this freak was finally caught, and again it was me who id'd him. sadly he was with a little girl at a roller skating rink- all i can hope for was that he had not been able to harm her.

some "bad" habits you develop as a kid might help you, but the mud eating won't, except maybe give you a thing for really dark chocolate (was i the only kid who loved the tiny "special dark" chocolate bars at halloween?). i also used to feed birds peanut butter and crackers, but i guess thats not so bad.

this is rick (yes there is a human in there) with our big black kitty on his lap and pippin our mutt beauty at the door. this is the wall where the toys have exploded everywhere....

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